I’ve sat in on too many presentations lately.  After a couple of them, you start to think “Hey, I can do way better than that!”  And so I’ve been collecting my thoughts to get some presentations down and rehearsed.

Anyway, some sample topics I’ve thought up, hope you like them:

• Security curmudgeon 101:  It all starts with electric shock and goes downhill rapidly
• Contractors Never Go for Broke: how I learned to stop fearing unclear guidance and made a ton of moolah in the process
• Who Moved My InfoSec Cheese:  What to do when the great big SOX cow in the sky dries up
• Leadership Secrets of Attila the CISO: throwing dead bodies and the problem does create a solution!
• $Racial_Slur in the Wire:  why your perimeter is massive pwnage once they get past it
• The “S” in “SIEM” stands for “Suck”: learning how to deal with the limitations of security tools
• Lessons from Language School: how I embraced the language and culture of our sworn enemies so that we could more effectively kill them in a bout of mutually assured destruction and why it seems so quaint in the new millenium
• DAM Solutions: more than just the punch-line to analyst jokes
• Data Reduction for Dummies: since the classification follows the data, if we get rid of it all, we don’t need to secure it
• Physical and Environmental Protection for Packet Monkeys: learning why there’s a big red button on the wall of the data center next to the switches and what really happens when you push it

And, lo and behold, I am available to speak, always have been.  If you like an idea that I’ve put out there, put 3 squirrels on a park bench and I’ll give them a presentation.

• Caught on Tape!
• A Short History of Cyberwar Lookalikes
• Barcode Hacking
• Beware the Cyber-Katrina!
• DojoCon DDoS Video