I’m making a prediction here.

Forget Avian Flu: the next pandemic will be the first wave of brain-eating zombies. I’m serious here, this is a viable threat. Otherwise, would all those movies steer us wrong?

It’s changed my thinking on pandemic contingency planning, we now are planning on building an armory next to the NOC so that we can have continuity of operations. In addition, part of our annual security training for NOC and SOC staff will involve the find points of being sure to shoot zombies in the head.

In fact, there is a phenomenal simulation of a zombie outbreak. Try changing some of the factors, there is a key on the right side of the page. Note that there is no option to kill the zombies, so well-armed survivalists are not accounted for in the simulation. Real-world infestations might be different if this happens in Idaho versus downtown DC (where firearms are outlawed).

Lessons to remember for the upcoming zombie pandemic:

• It’s hard to make an outbreak extend past one block if the population density is low. New York beware!
• Alleys are the conduit for the spread of infestations.
• Green zombies are easier to spot than white zombies.
• When the zombie pandemic starts, we all get zombified.

• Wednesday Zombie Post–The Zombies
• Training for the Zombie Pandemic
• Wednesday Zombie Post–Zombies on Uncyclopedia
• Zombies!
• Wednesday Zombie Post–The Combat Guide

I’ve been sick for 4 days now. It’s not fun, except for the fact that in-between bouts of feverish shaking and having out-of-body experiences, I’ve been wasting time playing Guild Wars and Battlefield 2 on my Linux workstation at home courtesy of Cedega.

But today, I figured it out… I’m becoming a zombie!

This is how it all starts–a long illness, then after I die off, I come back as a zombie. I’m not sure how I got the infection, but I think it was crawling through the storm drain tunnels of Falls Church with about 150 of my “closest friends” on Thursday. Think about it: tunnels, sewage, darkness, rats, water–it practically screams zombie infection!

I gave my wife a standing order to shoot me in the head immediately after I die. That’s the only way to stop the zombification and the subsequent eating of her brain. Of course, she’ll have to borrow a weapon, the 2 firearms I own haven’t been fired in this century.

Anyway, I’m adding a kooky zombie category over at the right and from time to time I’ll post something about zombies. It’s a subject that needs to be explored more in the future. That is, of course, if I don’t turn into one myself as previously described or I don’t wake up in the morning and wonder what kind of crazy, demented babbling I am capable of on my death/zombification bed.

What does this have to do with information security? Well, not much except for the fact that everything I know about physical security I learned from watching zombie films:

• Intruders always find a way to infiltrate the building perimeter.
• Avoid contact with other peoples’ body fluids.
• Cameras and alarms won’t protect you when you’re getting your brain eaten.
• Shooting intruders in the head is the only way to be sure they won’t come back.
• It’s hard to act tough when you’re being mauled by 20 zombies, even if you have a shotgun.
• Who needs social engineering when you can eat the guards?

• The Next Pandemic
• Wednesday Zombie Post–The Zen of Zombie
• Wednesday Zombie Post-How Zombies Work
• Wednesday Zombie Post–Zombies on Uncyclopedia
• Wednesday Zombie Post–Humans v/s Zombies